movement

We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.-Walt Disney

Movement may be the most powerful word in the English language. Defined as "The act or an instance of moving; a change in place or position." Isn't that exactly what life is about? If so, is it fair to assume that the opposite of movement is stagnant? I’ve experienced both of these conditions enough to understand the difference. Movement has made me feel uncomfortable, sad, lonely, uneasy, excited, glorious and proud all at the same time. This mixed nut bag of emotions has overwhelmed me many times and driven me towards a more familiar state of being…stagnation.

Stagnation is always there, lurking in the shadows of my mind waiting for an opportunity to trap me in it's cold, boney grasp. Even though stagnation is cold and scary, it offers an element of comfort and security for the familiar. There is a reason for this feeling of comfort, it is there to mask the flies that begin to swarm around my decaying existence. As a general courtesy, stagnation does not rob me of my life in a violent or sudden attack, but rather a gradual soothing approach, much the way I would remove my child’s security blanket.

I’ve learned that staying in a situation just because I do not have the courage to recognize the need for change is in essence death, it’s death by circumstance. And, when I die…I don’t want to have any regrets. I will continue to move forward…to love, grown, learn, forgive, accept, challenge and respect: myself.

What will you chose to do with your life?

omg

Pretty much the funniest guilty pleasure website ever!

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

Word....

happy things today...

Some of the things that are making me happy today….,

• Work pants that fit comfortably. Now that I’m down 12 lbs, the midsection of my pants seem to be a lot more comfortable and I don’t have to hold my breath all day at work. Which, is a plus that will help to preserve some of my brain cells..so yaay!

• Healthy and delicious snacks. I know, it probably sounds funny that I jumped from weight loss to talking about food…but, the two pretty much go hand in hand.

One thing that I’ve learned in the last few months is just how important it is to have a healthy relationship with food and ENJOYING snacks! Snacks are saving my life..literally. I feel satisfied with 2-3 light snacks throughout the day. Because of this, I can completely avoid falling victim to making high fat, high calorie, “fast and convenient” BAD choices.

Snacks keep my motor running and a smile on my face. Some of my favorites are string cheese, apples, pears, Clementine oranges, Fiber One bars, almonds and 100 calorie bags of popcorn.

• The holiday season! Usually, around this time of year I’m stressed out, tired, and ready to hang my hat on the last 12 months..but not this year. It’s been a great year for me and I am enjoying every single day that is left in 2009 while looking forward to next year! I expect next year to be even better. I’m thankful that I have made many healthy lifestyle changes this year. I know that it’s those choices that are providing me with the energy and high spirits to enjoy this holiday season.

And one final thing that is making me happy today….

• Good friends & family. I’m planning to spend a lot of quality time with my two best friends during this holiday season. Julie will be here visiting from Honduras next week, I’m so thankful that she always makes time to spend with us when she visits the US twice a year. Then, my parents are coming out to visit for a couple of days after Christmas. And, the fun doesn’t stop there. We will be heading out to Apple Valley to spend the New Year’s eve week with Hilda and her kiddos to break in their new home with cookie decorating, charades, laughs and fun.

I hope that you will take a moment today to reflect on the things that are making you happy too!

isabella

This blog post is in celebration of my youngest daughter, Isabella. With her loving spirit, bouncy curls and outrageous energy; she brings a smile to my face every day.

Isabella came into my life like the force of a steam engine locomotive, and hasn’t lost a lick of momentum yet! With a bigger than life personality and sweet smile; her charisma and charm command anyone in her presence into a hypnotic trance. But, not one that you’d want to break free from necessarily, rather one that you’re thrilled to be in.

Within this little bundle of cuteness resides an old wise soul. When I look into her eyes I can see the determination and the gift of perseverance in her heart. It’s as if she has been sent to teach us all, with great intensity, the lessons of love and happiness.

Daring, courageous, loving, explorative and simply fearless is she. Her delectable spirit has changed my life for the better. She’s added an element to my family that complements our existing strengths and brings joy to our hearts.

(Photo credit: Chris Meierling, Twitter @ChrisMeierling, Blog: http://ui.asu.edu/blog/)

adriana

This blog post is dedicated to my oldest daughter, Adriana; who views the world through lyrical lenses and soulful eyes.

Adriana exudes creativity from the top of her head, to the tips of her toes. She is a gifted musician, artist and singer. Her good judgment, whit, and charm are no match for me…even on my best day. Most often she can be found with her nose deep in a book, and when she’s not reading…singing and strumming along to her favorite Taylor Swift or Demi Lovato songs.

In school, Adriana is an incredible student, she gets mostly "A"'s every semester! She’s an activist and champion supporter of the causes and concerns for the environment and animals. Last year, she was named the most likely to start a non-profit organization by her Hip Hop Dance instructor.

I’ve watched her grow to be such an amazing young lady who keeps me laughing, challenges me and makes me very proud!

I cannot imagine what I did to be blessed with such a dynamically beautiful and talented daughter.

(Photo credit: Chris Meierling, Twitter @ChrisMeierling, Blog: http://ui.asu.edu/blog/)

my December goals

Here are my goals for December--let the healthy lifestyle changes continue!

Fitness Goals:

20 min-Elliptical machine X 3 days per week
20 min-Walking X 2 days per week
30 min-Curves workout X 4-5 days per week

Nutritional Goals:

Healthy choices, balanced nutrition—Calorie intake between 1,600-2,100 calories a day

Personal Goals:

Come to terms with and let go of my emotional attachment to Troy. I want to be completely rid of any feelings that I should still be trying to make it work. I've loved him for far too long, and have given up so much of myself trying to make him happy and trying to prove to him that he should love me as much as I loved him. But, in the end it wasn't enough... and I have to accept that.

I think that it's been time to move on for a while now, but I was sticking it out because there were so many reasons why the idea of "Troy and I" just made sense. I have to just come to terms with the fact that I gave it everything I had..and then some. And, he wasn't willing to give even half of what I was..and I deserve so much more than that.

I have to let go BEFORE I go into the new year! 2010 is going to be my lucky year after all, (according to my spiritual guide)..and I want to be READY for all of the greatness that awaits me. Personally, and professionally.

i feel free...

I realized today that the most important truth is being true to myself. Being honest and accountable to myself has been far more difficult to accomplish than I ever knew. But now,...now that I finally realized how important it is, I can breath. And that is in essence, my freedom.

my challenge to you

It’s quite possible that there is a giant visible 140 watt light bulb floating above my head these days. I’m changing…I’m moving, walking, eating, loving, encouraging, smiling, playing, dreaming, and goal setting. As a result of these changes I am beginning to shrink on the outside and grow on the inside. Which, in retrospect, is exactly the opposite of how I ended up 120+ lbs over weight to begin with.

I can’t tell you how many times I have tried, or at the least considered trying diet fads, pills, fasts and even surgery to lose weight. Let's be real, losing weight is inconvienient and time consuming. It takes a lot of work! Who wants to be bothered with all of that? If there is a quick fix out there that will require minimal work on my part and will give me amazing results then I'd be stupid to NOT try it right? I'd be an idiot to want to work hard! Yes, I have had this very negotiation with myself in the past. I'm sure that we all have. But here's the only real diet pill you need to swallow. Dieting doesn’t work. Restricting certain food groups, doesn’t work. Changing your life..one day at a time..DOES WORK.

This isn’t the first time in my life that I’ve been on the path of better choices, exercise and nutrition..but for some reason it actually feels like my first time. There’s something different going on within me this time. I’m NOT on a diet…I’m NOT looking for a quick fix to a life long struggle. I’m simply making a lifestyle change. Now, I know how much that saying “lifestyle change” leaves many people perplexed by the illusion that this must be a smoke and mirror trick. But, I assure you it is far from trickery.

In fact, there’s a level of clarity to be seen once you make the decision to “change”. I think the ability is there, in EVERYONE..unfortunately, clarity is easy to miss when the life that we live is clouded by perceivably easy, quick and conveniently deep fried choices. Sure, it’s much easier to just lay on the couch or sleep in that extra hour, I’m no stranger to this kind of rationalization..but, as soon as I decided to stop making “easier” choices my life changed. I turned in my easy card, and gladly exchanged it for a hard card. Consequently, I found out that I am so much happier with the hard card in my pocket. And now, losing weight is simply a "bonus"....I'm in it for the happy!

My challenge to you

I challenge you to read these two statements (below) and for a moment, consider how you typically answer them. Then, try NOT making excuses for a while…let’s say one-two weeks. Then, come back to my blog and let me know how you did, and how you feel..and more importantly, how you plan to continue to love yourself enough to change your lifestyle.

“I can’t exercise today because ___________.”
(fill in the blank with your chosen vice for today-no time, too tired, stressed, broke, busy)

“I’m just going to pick up _____________ because I don’t have time to go to the store.” (again, fill in the blank for the drive-thru’s that you frequent)

...it's fuel, and I'm working my way up to premium!

Of course, within 10 minutes of posting my November goals a friend of mine at work tried to guilt me into going to this Thai restaurant by the office with him. I politely declined..but he was pretty persistent. So, I explained to him that I was watching my calories and making healthier choices and that Thai wasn't budgeted into my day..lol He tried to guilt me into it..talking about how we never have lunch anymore..yada yada.

Then, I realized that he just needed to justify eating that crap by making someone else go too. Misery loves the hell out of some company eh? Then he asked me what I had eaten today, (I wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh at me or get on the bandwagon, so I shared the honest truth..).

For breakfast I had a bowl of cereal, milk, an apple and my iced green tea from Starbucks (my one vice that I'm not ready to give up lol). Then, I had a pear mid morning. Then, I had leftover tuna helper for lunch and a glass of chocolate milk.

Now, I am about to enjoy a cup of herbal tea with a little honey. And, I explained that I had an apple and 1 tbs of peanut butter on my desk for this afternoon....and that I had about 400 calories left for dinner.

To which, he rolled his eyes and said, "That's NOT food!"... I have a feeling that my old lunch buddy and I will be parting ways during the noontime hour..lol

goals

A happy, fulfilling life is all about setting goals, meeting goals, accepting failure and learning from it...and then celebrating those accomplishments or lessons learned. So, on that sentiment I am setting these nutrition, fitness and personal goals for the month of November:

1) Do my best to meet my nutritional needs while staying under 2,300 calories per day.
2) Walk at least 1 mile, a minimum of 5 days per week.
3) Work out at Curves, a minimum of 4 days per week.
4) Read at least 4 (SparksPeople or other Healthy living news outlet) articles a week to improve my knowledge of nutrition, fitness and/or motivation.
5) Have fun and be silly with my girls..each and every day!
6) Limit fastfood to one or less times a week.(So far, we haven't had fastfood at all in almost two weeks!..big, accomplishment for my busy family!)

'tis the season to get creative...

Halloween 2009 has passed, marking the beginning of the 2009 holiday season to come!

From this point forward,..no more vacation days off (need to save all of those up for the Christmas break). I want to be able to enjoy a fun filled two-weeks of family, friends, laughs, love, celebration and silliness (in no particular order, of course).

The weather has cooled off considerably here in Arizona and the commercialization of the holiday season has taken to the store shelves in abundance as usual.

Every year around this time I find myself indulging in fantasies of the endless possibilities should I chose to apply some of my imagination and creativity to the gift giving season. I think, if I start planning now, I can accomplish something amazing. But then, I get busy..and end up purchasing gifts that my friends and family will – or will not, enjoy. My typical “M.O.” materializes in the form of gift cards, bath and body works gift sets, slippers, books, cloths, toys...etc.

But, I long to do something special. To reclaim the authenticity of who I am and show that I can offer something more meaningful to my loved ones without succumbing to the mindless cesspool of pre-packaged gifts. How can I gift something that shares a piece of myself while complementing or better yet, inspiring others?

Well, this year is no different than years past. I have begun my fantasy stage..the difference though, remains to be seen. Will I throw in the towel and pass on my ideas to future years? Or, will I step it up and find some personal fulfillment beyond the mystical wonders of my imagination?

I just might be in the right mindset for pushing myself a bit further this year..

I’m on a more significant and more concretely motivated path to self improvement. My new attitude may lend itself quite nicely to the materialization of my imagination.

....refocusing....

I was so focused on my health and weight loss when I was in Oklahoma, especially from 9/07-4/08. Then, with the move to Arizona, new job, new life, new stresses..and a ton of other things--I kind of lost track.

By 7/09 I'd gained back 15 of the 30 lbs that I'd lost in Oklahoma. It was time to take some steps, albeit baby ones, towards getting back to focusing on my health and fitness. I joined Curves. I had great days, ate right, worked out..but plenty more of the bad days when I would not. I didn't really lose any weight for the first month, maybe one lb I think. It wasn't until 9/09 that I really started stepping it up. Doing other exercises outside of Curves and trying to get a better handle on what I was eating..but, even that wasn't as significant as it could have been..or as it was in Oklahoma.

So, about a month ago I decided it was really, really time to figure out a new plan. I'm happy to report that I've lost an additional 4 lbs in the last month and I hope to report a higher number next month. In reflection of my time in Oklahoma and my habits that helped me to initially lose that 30 lbs one of the critical processes for me is to KEEP TRACK of everything. Keeping track certainly has it's rewards and helps me to have a visual reminder of my progress.

I have been using www.SparkPeople.com for the last week and I love it! I can keep track of everything I put in my mouth--set nutritional goals for myself, see reports of my daily nutritional goals, get feedback, run weekly reports, do analysis of my diet..so much stuff! I can do all of the same stuff for the exercise that I do too. I can even map out my walking route and calculate the mileage, then enter in the amount of time it took me and calculate how many calories I burned. It's fantastic!

This kind of tracking, feedback process might not be right for everyone. But, for me...and the way that my mind works..it's perfect! If you're a stats, reports, spreadsheets, numbers kind of person..it's great. Also, it helps me feel in control of my goals...and I'm a planner..I can actually plan my goals and then see myself meeting them.

Ok..ok..I could be the spokesperson at this point..ha ha.

At any rate, I feel....refocused..., motivated and happy. I haven't had the combination of those three feelings towards nutrition and fitness in a long time..., and I a psyched to be there again. :-)

my gripes about religion…..

My gripes about religion…..I welcome your discussion…

1) judgment & superiority complexes

Everyone is entitled to have their own beliefs about creation, existence, purposes in life and possible after, or not. My beliefs might not be the same as anyone else’s, but should that entitle me to pass judgment or try to convince anyone else that they are wrong? No.

There are close to 7 billion people in this word, clearly we are going to have some differences of opinion on the “religion” topic. So, whatever you believe…believe it! If other people don’t share your beliefs, so what, is it really any of your business? Have your religious beliefs somehow given you a divine power to judge others? If so, good luck getting through life with that attitude.

Regardless of your religious beliefs or lack thereof, hatred, judgment, degradation and assumption will get you nowhere with me or any other logical introspective person on this planet.

Many people that have known me for years have no idea what I believe, but I can imagine for those that are judgmental and believe that everyone else is wrong…this probably drives them crazy. I have on many occasions, walked away from a conversation about this topic simply because it went without question that the person I was talking to had a closed mind and narrow focused view of religion, spirituality and existence. Why bother?

There are however; other people in my life that I have engaged in very deep and meaningful metaphysical conversations, we may not share the same point of view, but we respect the differences and appreciate the other’s willingness to understand. Does it make one of us better than the other one? No.

2) flaunting it & fake ambition

Ok, so you have beliefs…you feel comfortable with what you believe…you know where you’ve been, where you are…and where you are going right?…great! Leave it at that. You don’t need to prove anything to the rest of us with over the top displays of religious symbolism, an over indulgent use of cheesy phrases and words of praise. We get it, you love (whomever). The only thing that those kinds of suffocating displays of dedication indicate to the rest of the world is this; “I am really insecure and I don’t want others to judge me, so if I constantly remind them of my beliefs they will think I am a good person.”

Some people associate themselves with a particular belief system not because they truly understand it and embrace the ideals, but because they were told that this is what they are, or what they should believe. Whenever I meet someone in this kind of a situation it saddens me. To think that people follow a belief strictly for the aesthetics, recognition or to prevent persecution from their family and friends is beyond me.

In my experience, it is typically these types of situations where you will find the voices of religious scamper flowing loudly so as to prevent those around them from being any more the wiser.

what it's like to be me....

The existence of my being weighs marginally between completely insane and phenomenally brilliant, it is within this small margin that I live my life; fully knowing that a fractional shift can rock me one way or the other…..this is what it is like to be me….

have a great week!

Just thought I'd share the cutest little face in the world and say, have a great week! :)

i heart tweeting....

Yep, LOVE it! Follow me @ http://twitter.com/jenpruett

Never have I loved sharing random thoughts, rants and tidbits more than I do now...

it's official!

I finally did it....I registered my vehicle and changed my drivers license to AZ. I am now officially an AZ resident. Yes, it's true I have been here for about 10 months now. But, somewhere in the back of my mind putting off the "final changes" so to speak was my way of not completely committing to AZ. After everything I have been through in the last few years, it's somewhat surreal for me to finally plant my roots and fall in love with my new home.

So, as I walked down the aisle of matrimony between me and AZ I felt good about my decision. Hopefully, the two of us will be happy together for many years to come and be able to offer each other the kind of love and support needed to build this bond.

haha..ok, that was a little dramatic..but that's kind of how it feels man!

something to think about....

Many times things happen in my life, and to those around me; that I can easily identify as good learning opportunities. Whether good or bad, it usually doesn’t take me long to realize the error of “our” ways and appreciate the outcome or, at the very least determine the rational purpose and just accept it. However; I recently learned of a disturbing course of events that has left me with a strange sense of compassion and self reflection.

You may have heard in the news about a woman in Riverside that is being charged with murder for killing her 17 month old son. She is currently in jail awaiting her delayed arraignment. She is in the psych ward and under suicide watch. Her husband and two other sons’ are left to pick up the pieces of this tragedy while trying to make sense of the horrific reality that has changed their worlds forever.

Well, that woman; is a close friend of mine. She is someone that I have always had a ton of respect for both professionally and personally. She is a smart, loving, talented woman. She is funny, ….my word is she funny! When we worked together in the past she would have me cracking up! She is quick witted, reasonable, and quite the smart ass (no wonder I like her eh?)..anyways, I have always admired her and have, over the years; shared my personal struggles with her and greatly respected her support and advice.

That said, …I have found the details of what she has done sooooo troubling. (I’m not going to go into those details as the media has done an ample job of painting that visual for me, but yes…it was bad..according to the details that have been released so far) It has been very difficult for me to accept that she could have intentionally hurt her baby. She loved her babies…scratch that…she ADORED her babies. I’m left with so many questions…how could this woman that I know, do this? I need more details…I need to know what was going on to have caused her to take her own child’s life in the way that she did. I cannot believe that this was anything other than a total mental breakdown…post partum depression? Some have speculated that she suffered from being bi-polar. At any rate, I have to believe in my heart that she was not in her right state of mind.

In my quest to think through all of this, I have decided that one of the reasons why I feel so determined to understand is because I feel strangely compassionate and sympathetic for my friend. When I think about how overwhelming my life is, and how stressed out I am at times; I wonder…could I ever have conceivably seen myself in some variation of her shoes? Couldn’t we all have at some point or another? Well, maybe I’m just more honest than others; but I have to believe that we’ve all had moments when we have allowed our stress, depression, struggles, exhaustion, etc. overwhelm us and have allowed it to come through in our communications with our children, whether verbal or physical.

Of course, for the majority of us we have the fortunate *fill in blank* --luck, good sense, mental stability?-- to have been able to demonstrate some self restraint and/or had the capacity of mind to withdraw our actions before they became anything remotely close to tragic. Of course, afterwards being left to then realize that your adult problems are not and SHOULD not be projected towards your babies. Then you start crying because you realize that you were just mean to the only person/people who love you completely without condition and rely on you to be their example and providing comfort and safety from the rest of the world…ok, well maybe that’s just me….again…but,….

But, what about the people who cannot take it back...or who do not exercise that same sense of control? Should we feel compassion for someone who goes too far? Does going too far without being able to take it back and living the rest of your life with that guilt somehow mean that you are not entitled to help or support?

Two weeks ago, I might have had a different answer. But, today; I have begun to understand a different side of caring, one that I hadn’t had the opportunity in my life to experience before but, that now upon reflection feel I can understand after some self reflection…I hope that when you read this, you will think about it and do some self reflection of your own.

quote of the day...

When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless, it was death by meteor.

the new gig

Hey folks! I am now officially getting paid for giving my opinions of things....omg, I always dreamed about the day that I could say that....

I am writing local reviews of attractions, events and restaurants for hellophoenix.com

Check it out!

http://www.hellophoenix.com/

yay me :-)

what kind of BBQ sauce would you like with that?

It has come to my attention by my many, many fans that I have not posted anything in a while. So, in order to please the masses I will do my best to update you all on the happenings in my life lately...enjoy.

To kick things off, let's start with our dinner adventure this evening!

I decided Mc D's was our dining destination this evening for two reasons: 1) I was tired and was not up for cooking 2) Mc D's is cheap, and my kids are cheap dates. So, Bella and I started in on our usual debate over going in vs. drive thru. You can imagine who weighs in on which side. As usual, I lost....and ended up suffering through 45 minutes of little kids running around, climbing all over the playground equipment while their parents screamed at them to "come down and eat"....as if this was the place to expect children to stop playing and eat... I decided to just put Bella's food out figured she'd graze a bit and then brought the bulk of it home for her to eat. Which she just did...

But, I am actually getting ahead of myself. The best part of my Mc D's experience today was the lady at the register...oh....my....

*Disclaimer, I spent the better part of my teen years working in fast food so I know how much work it is...and yes, that gives me the right to talk smack about it.., as I am an ex-fast food worker**

Now one would think that if you work at Mc D's you would KNOW what comes in the meals. I mean come on there are only 11 meals to choose from. I remember working in fast food and I knew how much each of the meals were with tax and what the change was for any $ amount without even entering it in the register! Well, maybe that explains why I don't work there anymore...

So, I ordered a chicken nugget happy meal for Bella and a #10 meal for me (nuggets). Oh, I should mention that Adriana wasn't there. She watched that movie "Super-Size Me" at school and is now boycotting Mc D's. (party pooper!)

So, after I order; the woman proceeds to ask me, and I quote; "What kind of BBQ sauce do you want with the nuggets." To which I replied, "Uhhh BBQ?" To which she restated her question, but came across this time as more of a demand, "WHAT kind of BBQ sauce do YOU want." I had to take an extra minute to process this one because I wasn't sure if she just didn't hear me or if I didn't understand the question. I mean, she didn't ask what kind of sauce I wanted, but rather what kind of BBQ sauce I wanted. The first time around I just dismissed her mix-up and answered as if she'd phrased the question correctly. But now, now that she was restating the same version of nonsense to me again, I wasn't quite sure how to answer.

I tried again. I said, in a more matter of fact tone, "BBQ please, and Sweet and Sour." Then, she said to me,"Well, you will have to pay for the extra." Ummm..huh? What does that mean? So I asked her and she told me that I could only have one kind of BBQ sauce for free. (I was totally confused at this point) So, I reminded her that I had purchased a 4 piece AND a 10 piece hoping that this fact alone would entitle me to at least two different varieties of sauces. She then said to me, you only got a 4 piece. I double checked the menu to verify that I had indeed ordered the 10 piece (I had) and then verified that she'd heard me right when I said #10. She confirmed that I'd ordered a 10 piece but then proceeded to tell me that she could only enter the BBQ -BBQ sauce in for the 4 piece and would have to enter the Sweet and Sour BBQ sauce separately for the 10 piece or else I would have to pay more...

BIG SIGH.....at this point I really didn't even know what to say....I just agreed. She apparently had a system and I was fucking it all up with my logistics. She finished taking my order, I paid..she walked away. I didn't...she noticed. She came back and asked me if she could help me as if she had never seen me before. I asked her if I could get my drink cups...after asking if she could see my reciept (YEP that's right) .....she reluctantly handed them over.

So, as I stood there waiting for my order I noticed that the other 7 people who had ordered before me were getting their food and then having to come back for their cups. Apparently, at this Mc D's they don't give you your cups automatically; you have to ask. *Good to know*

Then, when she finally put my order on the tray and I went up to get it there was 1-BBQ sauce and 1-Sweet and Sour (BBQ) sauce. I was afraid to ask but I knew there was no way I was walking away with only these sauces. So, I braved it...."Can I have another sauce? One more of each, please?" She said, "Sure, is one more going to be enough?" Then, she proceeded to plop down 3 more of each sauce on my tray, smile, and tell me to have a nice day.....

Wow....what an experience it is to dine at Mc D's eh?